


Textures

by donghyucktiny



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24424450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donghyucktiny/pseuds/donghyucktiny
Summary: Jaehyun has an unusual way of remembering, and he badly wants to remember Johnny.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 13
Kudos: 61





	Textures

Jaehyun stirred awake after he felt someone move beside him. It was an early Tuesday morning and he didn’t want to get up, but he has to. After all, he’s trying to win a race against time.

Jaehyun has always been competitive, and he knows it. But sometimes he has to admit his defeat in something.

“You know I can still convince my dad, right?” Johnny finally spoke, snapping him out of his own thoughts about time and defeat.

He stared at the boy beside him who, by the looks of it, has been up way before him. He studied Johnny’s facial expression as those words came out of his mouth and he felt a tug in his chest. He’s been trying to avoid this conversation because it hurts them both, but Johnny can’t seem to let it go.

“I know baby, but we talked about this. You’re gonna have to do it eventually. You have to grab the opportunity and we’re not sure abou-“,

“Stop. Don’t say it.” Johnny interrupted him before he can finish his sentence.

Jaehyun sighed and slowly reached up to run his hands through Johnny’s hair, “you know I’m just being realistic. Moving back to America will open up so many opportunities for you. Your dreams are finally in your grasps, you can’t just give it up for us.”

 _His hair is soft, it always has been._ Jaehyun’s thoughts wandered.

Johnny hummed in response and closed his eyes, thinking about something else. “What do you want for breakfast?” he asked Jaehyun, receiving a smile as a reply.

* * *

Jaehyun met Johnny 3 years ago after a friend convinced him to model for a special project. Jaehyun was hesitant at first, his only experience in modelling being his daily posts on instagram where people appear to love his fashion sense. The only photographer that he has ever worked with was his phone held by a phone mount that he found unused in his brother’s bedroom.

“I don’t know, Taeyong. I’ve never really worked with someone, you know? What if I’m awkward and he just decides to get another model for his project and my self-esteem dives head first into the ground? I’m finally building my confidence slowly, I’m scared to ruin that”, he babbled in between bites of cake – the cake which is the reason why he agreed to meet Taeyong in the first place.

“I know Jaehyun, and I’m happy for you really,” Taeyong stopped for a moment to chew at his bottom lips, seemingly trying to think of something to convince Jaehyun. “Johnny is a nice guy to work with and he will make you feel comfortable so I promise you it will be fine. You have to take risks sometimes, you never know what will happen” Taeyong finished, the last part of his sentence almost too quiet.

Jaehyun played with the last bite of his cake, taking care to feel the texture in his mouth. _Speckles of strawberry seeds in the buttercream partnered with the softness of the cake._

He doesn’t know when it started but he made a habit of noticing specific textures of things when he wants to remember something, whether it would be by tasting or touching. Jaehyun already has a bad memory at 23, but doing this weird ritual seems to make him remember things better.

And right now he has to remember that he’s supposed to meet Taeyong’s friend this weekend.

* * *

“Your face is too serious that I’m almost too scared to ask what you’re thinking about,” Johnny said as he flips the egg on the frying pan.

Jaehyun stared at his cup of coffee, “hmmm ’m just thinking about strawberry cake.”

“What? Are you suddenly craving for strawberry cake?” Johnny laughed.

Jaehyun looked at Johnny, his lips pressed together before speaking. “I’m thinking about how Taeyong bribed me with strawberry cake and I would’ve never met you if I refused.”

Johnny looked at him with raised eyebrows, “and you associate our meeting with…strawberry cake?”

“Why, is that weird?”

“No, I think it’s cute,” Johnny replied without missing a beat, turning away from him to put the sunny side up on a plate. “You know I love it when you associate memories with unusual things. Oh and this one’s yours, it’s cooked well-done”.

Jaehyun suddenly thought of runny yolks.

* * *

Taeyong described his friend as tall with brown hair, and “I made sure to tell him at least 14 times to wear his ugly mustard sweater” – Taeyong’s words, not his. Jaehyun walked in the café, the smell of brunch greeting him. Anyone can have a different sense of what brunch feels like, but Jaehyun thinks it feels like the combination of crispy bacon and fluffy pancakes. At least that’s what he remembers.

He immediately spotted a brown-haired boy sitting in one of the booths, busily tapping on his phone. Jaehyun took note of the color of his sweater before quietly slipping in the chair in front of him. His words already came out of his mouth before he can stop himself, forgetting that he’s in front of a person he’s meeting for the first time. “Nice sweater”, Jaehyun muttered right before the boy in front of him looked up and smiled.

“I’m guessing you’re Jaehyun, Taeyong’s friend? I’m Johnny. And yeah, it’s a really nice sweater. I don’t know why Taeyong keeps making fun of me for wearing this”. Jaehyun absentmindedly touched his ripped jeans right above his knee, making sure to take note: _Johnny is his name._ As if Taeyong has never mentioned it.

Johnny gestured at the food in front of them. “I’m sorry I already ordered for us. I hope you don’t mind”.

“No, it’s fine. I’m the one who said we should work fast so we shouldn’t waste time with brunch.” Jaehyun replied, remembering the conditions he told Taeyong before agreeing to this. “Except, uhh..”

Johnny looked up from his own plate to look at Jaehyun, studying his expression. Jaehyun was hesitating to touch his food, like the waiter has put something on his plate that he’s allergic to. The other boy was sure it wasn’t that though, he asked Taeyong beforehand.

Jaehyun lowered his head as he quietly whispered, “this yolk is runny.” Johnny blinked a few times before looking at his food and back at Jaehyun’s. He ordered the same food for the both of them to avoid the inconvenience of saying too many words to the waiter.

“We can switch if you don’t mind.” Johnny remarks as his knife is already under the egg on his plate. “Mine’s cooked well-done, and I don’t mind runny yolks.”

Jaehyun absolutely hates the taste of runny yolks, so he smiled before nodding shyly.

They ate quietly and all that Jaehyun could remember was how different he has thought of brunch ever since. _Brunch is sunny side up cooked well-done. Oh, and Johnny is the nice boy’s name._

* * *

Johnny sat at the living room with his laptop in front of him, waiting for his dad to call. Jaehyun has already retreated to the kitchen to clean up after their meal. He wanted to give his boyfriend some space but made sure to be still near enough to be there in case he needs him.

They have been together for 3 years now, their personalities immediately fitting right on each other after their first meeting. Their friends made sure to take notice on how Johnny would laugh at every unfunny thing Jaehyun would say – or how Jaehyun would always look excited at the mention of Johnny’s name, like a 5-year-old holding a puppy for the first time.

Being together for this long is enough for them to completely understand every little wants and needs the other might have without saying a word – like how Jaehyun woke up one night crying and Johnny just reached around him to rub his back to help him go back to sleep, or that time when he didn’t get accepted at the job he had always wanted and Johnny was immediately there for him, quietly holding a blanket and some chips because the taller boy knows he’s going to cry at the slight mention of it. And right now, Jaehyun can feel Johnny’s nervousness despite being on the other side of their apartment.

Johnny looks at him with sad eyes, like he wants to say what he has been saying for the past week.

“Tell me to stay and I will.” Johnny would tell him in between kisses, and Jaehyun will be too tired from crying to even respond.

Johnny’s dad has been going back and forth between America and South Korea for as long as he can remember. It was never clear for Jaehyun what it is that he does. “It’s some type of family business I don’t really care about”, is what Johnny replied to him after he asked about his family a few months into their relationship. So Jaehyun never bothered to ask again. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he cared more about Johnny – and hearing Johnny’s voice saying that made him realize he shouldn’t pry.

But after Johnny’s dad had talked to him about permanently moving to Chicago with his mom to grab an offer to be an official photographer for a known fashion brand, Jaehyun can’t help but think about how he should’ve asked about it more.

“I already sent you my flight details, dad. I’m gonna see you when I land,” Jaehyun snaps back to reality when he hears Johnny close his laptop.

“I’m gonna help you pack your things,” he says while getting up to walk towards their bedroom, feeling Johnny’s eyes following him.

Jaehyun hears the door open followed by a sigh. “I’m sorry about this, about us. I don’t want you to think I have to choose between my career and our relationship. I love you, Jaehyun. I don’t think I’ve said it enough.”

“Say it more and it will lose its meaning,” Jaehyun jokingly says as he feels Johnny’s arms wrap around him. Their comfort has always been physical touch and words of affirmation, Jaehyun suddenly remembers as he touches the ribbed waistband of Johnny’s sweatpants before he folds it and puts it inside the suitcase in front of him.

He turns around to look up at the boy, “I love you too, but you already know that. I promise you everything will be fine, we will be fine. Remember our promise, okay? We’ll try to make it work. If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. We’re fine, Johnny. We’re fine.”

Jaehyun repeats his words to reassure Johnny but as he keeps saying them, it starts to sound like he’s doing it to reassure himself.

“I’m going to be honest. I’m scared, baby. I’m scared about us, about you. I’m scared of being left here and have to live with you on the other side of the planet but,” Jaehyun trails off, taking Johnny’s hand in his. He reminds himself on how Johnny can be taller than him and can still look cute with sweater paws. “I also have trust in this as much as it scares me, and that should be enough.”

Johnny sighs and pulls him towards the bed, “I feel like crying but my heart hurts so much but feels so full at the same time. Can we just stay like this for a moment, please?”

So Jaehyun complies and rests his head against the other boy’s chest. The suitcase can wait; he has already been defeated by time anyway. What are a few minutes more?

He looks up to land a soft kiss on Johnny’s lips, pulling him closer in the process. He touches the boy’s lower back; taking note of his fingers against the loose strings on the t-shirt Johnny is wearing that Tuesday morning.

And in a few months following that, that’s all that Jaehyun could remember.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic! At least the first fanfic that I'm posting. I'm literally shaking as I post this so please be kind and leave comments that will help me be better at this. I absolutely love Johnny and Jaehyun and the entirety of NCT so I've been wanting to write about them for a long time but the idea just remained as that - an idea, and I never put it into writing until now. Also I apologize for any typo or grammatical errors, I think I've proofread so many times my brain is just zoning out.
> 
> I know the ending seemed kind of,..rushed? In a way but I wanted the readers to focus more on the fluff in between instead of the angst at the end. Also, if the flashbacks are confusing I'm sorry!! I tried my best to make it clear in between the parts. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little word vomit I did after hours of staring at my laptop screen pulling my hair to get the words out.


End file.
